


Belief and Logic

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU, Angst, Depression, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, The killing game was a simulation but it was still shown on tv for the world to see, Trauma, but you could look at it that way I guess, mentions of self harm, the pairing isn't really romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 15:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The killing game wasn't real, they knew that.But that didn't mean that it didn't still hurt.When they all woke up from the simulation, Ouma, Momota and Saihara had nowhere to go and decided to stick together.And yeah, maybe they won't ever really be friends, maybe they won't recover at all.But they have to at least try.





	Belief and Logic

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I just wasted two hours of my life on this, don't ask me why cause I have no clue. Enjoy!

Ouma, Saihara and Momota hated each other, and they all knew it. It wasn't a secret, even when they decided to live together they all made it perfectly clear that they couldn't stand each other. But they all had their own reasons for wanting to live together.

Momota felt this sense of duty, he couldn't live with himself if he didn't try to help Saihara and Ouma get over everything that happened. After all...he was the one who killed Ouma, and he was the one that almost got them killed in the fourth trial because he wanted to believe in Gokuhara, and then he got angry with Saihara even though Saihara's the one who saved them.

Saihara had survivor's guilt. Both Ouma and Momota gave everything to try and end the game, they even sacrificed themselves. Ouma gave his life to try and break the game, and Momota gave his life to protect the rest of them. Saihara...didn't do much of anything... he couldn't compare to that at all. He wasn't brave enough to give his life, and he knew it.

Ouma caused everyone a lot of pain during the game, especially Momota and Saihara. He forced Momota's hand and made him a murderer, and he made Saihara have to watch his friends die, all for the sake of his plan. Even if he had good intentions, even if he did want to break the game, Ouma knew deep down that if he hadn't been in such a rush, he could've made a better plan that didn't involve do much pain. He had been impatient.

Even if they blamed themselves for different reasons, they still hated each other more than themselves.

Ouma couldn't stand Saihara, because what did he know? 

_You're alone Kokichi, and you always will be._

The nerve he had...to say something like that. Ouma did more during that killing game than Saihara, that was obvious. He was working constantly to make sure his plan would work, and what did Saihara do?

He ruined the entire plan and made their sacrifices meaningless.

And Momota...god, Momota... Ouma couldn't stand his thinking process. You can't solve everything with belief, he thought he made that clear during the fourth trial. If Saihara and Momota had just been more logical, maybe the plan would've worked.

Saihara couldn't help being angry at them both, even if Momota had been his friend inside the game.

He worked so hard to keep everyone alive during the trials, Momota just made things more difficult. Saihara knew it was important to believe in others, but it was clear to everyone that you couldn't solve every little problem with just belief, that's ridiculous. Momota actually got mad at him just because he thought about it logically? And the thing is, he had been right to be logical, because that lead them to the correct answer. They all nearly died because of his way of thinking.

Now, Saihara certainly didn't agree with Ouma's way in thinking, not even a little. To treat others with that much caution had its own problems, not to mention Ouma's constantly lying made the trials more difficult. He was incredibly smart, he knew how to tell when someone was lying and he even knew skills such as lock picking. Ouma was kind of amazing. But that just made Saihara angry. He didn't have to lie and manipulate everyone in order to make his plan work, he didn't have to kill Gokuhara and Iruma, but he did anyways.

Belief and logic were both great, but if Saihara had only used one of them during a trial, they would've all died during the second trial. You need to use both, why couldn't those two understand that?

Momota hated Ouma with a passion, in the game and outside of it. It wasn't that surprising, they couldn't be more different from each other. But Momota couldn't help feeling angry at Saihara too. If Saihara just hadn't figured out their whole plan... then maybe they wouldn't have had to suffer so much. But at the same time, it was Saihara who was always saving everyone, which Momota was happy about...it's just... the only reason Saihara managed to save everyone every time, was because he used Ouma's methods. He chose logic over belief. Why could Saihara see that logic wasn't the way to go? If you rely on just logic, there's a good chance you won't get to the right conclusion. Sometimes you need to have a little faith in order to figure out the truth, didn't they make that clear in the third trial? If they hadn't focused on Chabashira's death, they may have no figured out that it was Shinguji who was the culprit! Ouma didn't want to talk about her death at all, because it was meaningless in his eyes. 

Belief had to come before logic, that's what Momota's always thought, and that opinion hasn't changed.

~~~

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ouma squeezed his pillow tighter as shrieks rang throughout the apartment. Momota had another nightmare.

They each had their own room, since they all wanted a place to retreat to when they needed space. But even thought they had their own rooms, it didn't stop them from hearing the screams of the others.

Almost every night, one of them would have a problem, some kind of nightmare that would leave them screaming bloody murder. 

When Saihara would have them, Momota would rush over right away to try and calm him down, to let him know everyone was alive, because that's what Saihara desperately needed to know and Momota wasn't heartless. 

Momota's were usually about him suddenly being ill again and dying in front of Harukawa and Saihara. He'd usually have to call Harukawa when he woke up and Saihara would come over to tell him that he was healthy.

They didn't like each other very much...but they were friends once.

Ouma was different. They knew better than to try and comfort him after a nightmare.

Usually he dreamed about being crushed to death, or about killing Iruma and Gokuhara. Saihara had tried to comfort him once before...

_DON'T ACT LIKE YOU WANT ME TO FEEL BETTER! YOU THINK THESE NIGHTMARES ARE JUSTIFIED, RIGHT!?_

Saihara didn't disagree with him at the time, not that Ouma expected him to. Now, Momota and Saihara don't bother trying to comfort him, and just try and wait for the screaming to stop.

The nights were the hardest, even when they tried not to sleep in order to avoid the nightmares... eventually they couldn't help it anymore and would fall asleep.

Ouma's watched Saihara down multiple energy drinks to try and avoid sleeping.

He didn't understand how everyone else could forgive and forget so easily. Even Shirogane and Amami were getting along now. Everyone else had already moved on from the killing game, even though it only happened a month ago.

It wasn't fair, why was it only the three of them still suffering?

~~~

"Do you sleep at all?" Iruma asked with mild amusement, but concern was shown in her eyes. She was at a cafe with Ouma. When the killing game had ended, it didn't take very long for Iruma to contact him. Ouma could only guess she felt guilty for trying to murder him, even if it didn't end up happening.

Ouma stared at the cup of tea in front of him. He had dark bags under his eyes. "Only when I have to." He mumbled.

Iruma smiled lightly to herself, staring down at her own cup of tea. She had bags under her eyes as well, but they were mostly covered with makeup. "...I know you three don't get along well... if you'd like, Gokuhara and I would love for you to live with us instead..." She told him in almost a whisper.

His eyes widened, he stared up at her in shock. 

Normally, he would've said yes. He knows Momota and Saihara would be thrilled to have him gone, but...

"I don't think I can face Gokuhara yet..." He told her simply, making a fist.

Iruma sighed a little. "...I knew you'd say that...but if you ever change your mind, the offer's always open." Ouma watched as Iruma stood up from her seat.

Then, before heading out, she spoke once more. "...We all did bad things during that game. Let it go." Ouma almost gasped.

"Let it go...and they will too..." Iruma headed out after saying that, leaving Ouma with a lot to think about.

~~~

How is he suppose to let it go when it's literally thrown in his face how much of a fuck up he is every single day?

Ouma was at the store picking up dinner for him and Momota and Saihara, but of course, that meant dealing with people.

People who hated him.

The moment he stepped foot in the store, he was met with glares from almost everyone, and the ones who weren't glaring were looking at him with excitement.

"That's Kokichi Ouma..."

"Do you think he'll cause a scene in the store?"

"I wonder if any of the others are with him?"

"Why would they let him in the store? He was a jerk in the show. Did you see what he did to Gokuhara?"

"I don't care about that! Let him be a jerk, I still want to have his babies!"

Ouma was disgusted by every person in that store.

None of them knew anything. All they knew about him is what they saw on tv. They don't know the real him and they never would.

Ouma gathered the things he needed as quickly as possible and they went to checkout.

"That'll be 20 bucks." Ouma's jaw dropped.

He glared at the cashier. "20 bucks for a couple apples and a loaf of bread?"

The cashier glared down at him. "Oh I'm sorry, is that price not to your liking? Is it unfair to you? So was killing Gokuhara for your own personal gain you selfish brat! Either pay for the food or get out of my store!" He shouted in anger, causing everyone around to stare.

Ouma noticed people getting out their phones to film this and get pictures.

So Ouma did what he did best. He threw on a grin and looked at the cashier happily.

"It's not my fault Gokuhara's so easy to manipulate. I was doing them a favor, that guy was better of dead." Ouma told him with a mean smirk.

The cashier punched him in the face, sending him tumbling to the floor. Everyone gasped and continued to take photos and film every second of it.

"OUT OF MY STORE! YOU CAN GO BURN IN HELL YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BASTARD!" He cashier screamed in anger. Ouma picked himself up (as always) and rushed out of the store laughing.

But the moment he was away from the store, his laughter stopped. They could never understand what it's like.

Ouma had no choice but to go home, with no food in his arms.

~~~

"You didn't buy any food!?" Momota snapped when Ouma got back.   
  


Ouma smirked and shrugged. "What can I say? I saw candy at the store and decided to get some of that instead. I'm full now, you two can figure out food for yourselves. You are capable of that aren't you?" Momota glared darkly at him.

Saihara looked annoyed as well, but he was more observant than Momota. "What happened to your face?"

Oh right, he had a huge bruise on his cheek from that punch.

"What do you think? A bird flew by carrying a rock and dropped it on my face! Or maybe I just tripped and fell, hmm... who knows." Ouma told him cheerfully.

Saihara didn't reply, but Ouma couldn't help feeling like Saihara could see right through him.

That scared him more than anything. He can't let them get too close.

Ouma faked a yawn. "Welp, I'm going to bed early, I'm like, suuuuper tired." Momota and Saihara watched as Ouma headed towards his room, when he got down the hall he slipped off his jacket, revealing bandages on his arms.

When he closed his door, Saihara spoke. "You said you got all the blades out of his room." He snapped. 

Momota sighed. "Well apparently I missed one." He snapped back. 

Saihara stormed off to his own room, leaving Momota out in the dining room by himself.

~~~

Momota would never admit it. But Ouma once saved him.

It was a couple weeks ago, they had just stared living together. Momota had gone to the roof of the apartment building that night.

He...was struggling, a lot. He just didn't know what else to do, the nightmares wouldn't stop and neither would the guilt and pain.

But when he got to the roof, Ouma was there...and he was...hurting himself.

Momota still remembers rushing over and grabbing him, he had taken the blade from him and threw it off the roof. He had gripped Ouma's shoulders very tightly that night, probably more than he needed to. Ouma had screamed at him, he had been beyond pissed, claiming that it helped him and that Momota had no right to throw the blade away.

He hated that someone he knew was hurting and he couldn't help, but... at the same time, he couldn't help feeling a bit thankful.

If he hadn't been there on the roof that night... Momota wouldn't even be there.

Ouma made Momota promise not to talk about what he saw that night, and Momota had kept his word. But it didn't take Saihara long to find out himself. He had gone into Ouma's room to clean up his trash (since Ouma refused to do it himself) and found one of the blades. Momota had to tell him everything afterwards.

They don't understand why Ouma does it, and they don't know how to help it, but what fills them with guilt more than anything is how little they actually care about helping him.

Were they that bitter over everything that happened?

~~~

_Let it go...and they will too._

Could he really do that? Could they really just put it behind them?... would Momota and Saihara even be open to that?

All Ouma knows is that he'd just hate himself more and more if he didn't at least try.

So the next morning, Ouma made them all breakfast. Sure it was nothing fancy, just waffles they cooked in the toaster, but still. He set down their plates and began eating his own.

He watched as Saihara tiredly entered the dining room, eyes widening in surprise when he saw the waffles. "...Good morning Kokichi..." He said awkwardly.

Ouma grinned. "Morning Shuichi! Eat up! I went to so much trouble to make these. I had to make the dough from scratch you know."

Yeah Saihara knew, knew that he was lying that is. But it didn't matter. Saihara gave a small smile. "...That's...really nice of you...thank you." He told him almost shyly and sat down.

A few minutes later, Momota came out yawning. "Morning..." He sat down and immediately started eating.

"Ouma made the waffles." Saihara told him. Momota spat out the waffle.

"Did you poison it?" He asked cautiously.

Ouma looked at him sadly, fake tears building up. "That's mean...I-I just wanted to do something nice for you two... AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Momota looked alarmed, he looked at Saihara who just narrowed his eyes at him. Momota sighed.

"Don't cry! Look, I love them! Thank you!" Momota said, eating a huge part of one.

Ouma stopped crying immedientally and grinned. "No problem! I'll expect Panta as payment though."

The rest of breakfast was silent, but even so... there was a lighter feeling in the air.

It was going to take a long time for them all to recover...

But... maybe, just maybe, they could really be friends someday.

No, not _could_ , they would be friends someday.

That's what Ouma wants to believe.


End file.
